After walking with our dogs, and after listening to George and an arduous account of why God is who He is, and how the world is the result of Him, venting to a PC is required. My friend George, I loved the man, but Christianity is a sad logic to endure. And so the fingers hit the keys, ION became inspired from some magnetic source, and Wala! Expression becomes born

	Question		Answer/Non-Answer
	Mr. Fundamental Mr. Theist, Mr. Formula, Mr. Science, Mr. Religion		Mr. Mystic, Poet-Thinker, Open to alternative thoughts. Mr. Existentialist, Mr. Agnostic, Mr. Nontheist
	This is a gray boring box to look at. Isn't it? It follows all the "absolutes." Tell me Mr. Mystic, Mr. Existentialist, Mr. NonTheist(non-believer in an External/Separate God), Mr. non-believer in philosophical and scientific formulations. Who created this leaf? Who created the design of a bee's nest, the sunflower, the rotation of the planets the intricacies and complexities of the mind? If you can answer this, then I will say there is no God. But of course you never can. Because I know there is a God, A Being higher and separate from myself. Someone had to create all these things. Their had to be a designer, a creator over the creature. I know Jesus (or is it Minerva:?) died for my sins. I know Moses spoke to a Being (Yahweh) called God. I know Muhammad was a chosen prophet. I know. I have (at least some) real answers. I have a book of supernatural prophecy and events fulfilled. I have Isaiah 53 and Psalm 22, Sutra 38, Nostradamus and the words of Allah. I have historical accuracy. I have geographical accuracy. I have accurate chronology. I have the Bible. I have the Sutras. I have the Koran. I have an object, God to believe in and for this I can sleep at night in peace. I can prove archaeological sites that back up what has been written, dates and cities, kings and rulers, even small scientific data that all supports the supernatural divinity of the Bible. There is scientific proof of men being swallowed by fish, the earth being a circle that hangs upon nothing (try looking at the moon) and foretelling of the Persian King Cyrus centuries before his arrival. I have experiential proof, scriptural proof, a divine book, a father (object) God. I have solid and absolute answers of life's mystery and method of salvation. A carefully drawn out structure proven from past occurrences, divine prophecy that foretells. I know there is a supernatural spirit and God who supplies this. And for this I will follow the plan to salvation, the method for happiness, the formulation to heaven, the precepts and divinely inspired ethical codes and moral precepts for favor with my personal deity, the spelled out schematicizations for both this life and the afterlife, the mapped out reality and divine instruction manual(s) for living and power source for true living. Without a God to believe in, then life would be not worth living, purposeless, useless and demeaning. It would make no sense, no logic, nor would it have any depth and meaning. I could not live without God and His love. I could not survive without someone to pray to, to care for me, to love me as a parent would love a child. I could not stand (do not have the existential courage of self-affirmation) solely on my own.. My foundations are set. I am not moving forward anymore in my foundational beliefs. My infrastructure has been set. I will die believing in my current perception of God and salvation plan. I have no more need for learning beyond my foundations and expanding my knowledge outside my internalization of externally learned teachings and foundational walls from what I already know is absolutely true. I know the "truth." and I only learn to support my current base and time-frozen truth (Jesus was resurrected) of preconceived ideas of what I know and believe to be true, my God, my scriptures and my system that has been divinely given to me, through the power of (God) the Holy Spirit (supernatural means).		I can only answer this if you answer me, Mr. Religion, Mr. Theist, man of formulations. Tell me what really is a leaf? What is a sunflower, and the true meaning of design, that of a bee's nest, the idea of planet rotation and the complexities of the human mind, outside from the perception and filtering of the human mind? Apart from and beyond phenomenalism? Outside of human concepts, human language, definitive history and human perception and human interpretation? You cannot and never will. The Relative Positions Projected From the Absolute Center There is no empirical truth apart from phenomenological study of a creator of life that is separate from a created, who has designed what we perceived to be so. What the human mind is capable of knowing: there are relative parts of an absolute whole, each perceiving from the slanted place of position, from this perhaps a designer, perhaps a non-locality as well, but in each instance, far removed from all human formulations, conceptions and most assuredly from the literalist's theology. The idea of a mother, a big daddy God, a divine man who dies for (man made created/defined) sins are solely human ideas. God, if that's what you wish to call it, is for me not an object, person, spirit, place or thing, but is the ground of Being, the ground of all existence: all matter, all energy, all organic, all inorganic, all existence. You can label this pantheism or any other name, but this is not about human labels and categorizations, for in no way does this remove the numinous, divinity, beauty and awe from the mystery of life. I recognize there is validity to the "religious and meditative experience," and yet far removed from all means of explanation and communication. "Life is a reality to be experienced, not a problem to be solved." Life is ambiguous. Life is a mystery. Life exists apart from dogmatic formulations and structured analysis. I do not have the absolute truth(s), as all humans are incapable of knowing absolute truth beyond the relative position they stand in. Absolute truth is beyond the intellect, beyond conceptions and language and can never be captured in a book. Have you ever tried to capture the sun's rays, the wind's breeze and the moments of happiness, shelving and storing such for a future rainy day? This is not living, nor life, but existing in stagnating fear, seeking security and comfort in humanly created means. I do not have an object to believe in and a mapped out reality. What I do have is the relative, and paradoxically fundamental, beliefs of love, compassion, and the ability to move forward in continual and constant change. And most importantly I have the courage to be, to self-affirm my Being, despite of the always existing threat of Non-Being. I do not need to hide in man made/interpreted prophecies of words written by other phenomenal (human mind filtered/perceived) means. I do not need to hide in formulations and conceptions for security and comfort, as I know there is a difference between the relative and the absolute, the separation of the reality I experience and subsequently interpret, (both consciously and unconsciously) and that of naked reality. The answers I do have are always flowing and changing in constant movement, fluctuating in the vibrational dance of life, they do not stay frozen in stagnating logic, dogmas and creeds. I may have many answers, far more logical and sensible than the fundamentalist, and yet I do not have THE answers, nor an ultimate truth, nor an absolute right over wrong and definitive meaning of life's mystery, nor mapped out reality in neatly arranged formulation. And for this, I both marvel at the unexplainable beauty and grandeur of life's incredible and amazing mystery, and for this, I am deeply moved and indebted in gratitude, wonder, humility and awe.

"How many people still make the inference: 'one could not stand life if there were no God!' (or as they say in the circles of the Idealists: 'one could not stand life if it lacked the ethical significance of its ground!') - consequently there must be a God (or an ethical significance of existence)! . . . what presumption to decree that all that is necessary for my preservation must also really be there! As if my preservation were anything necessary!" Nietzsche (M 90)

This page is dedicated to my good friend and a great man, George Banta. At 69 he had the heart of gold and ability to discuss anything and maintain his awesome convictions. He had such tremendous love for animals and the environment. We could sit in my living room all day and have theism verses my philosophy arguments. I know its been so damn short a time, but I miss you my good friend. Now listen my good friend, I know you are sitting maybe, unseen to the human eye right next to me, and now I wish you to also read with deep seated laughter my next words. Because of walking in the Park with you, my friend George, for a couple of hours and hearing the most boring and stupefying arguments on why God exists, and Christianity, one will find himself typing a webpage such as this. I do love you George, but this Christianity was, and sadly still is, just the most amazingly blind enigma in both human intellectual thinking, and of far more importance, in consciousness itself. There is a real difference between the mind/thinking and that of consciousness. The mind is only a moving process, motions of waves of thoughts, while consciousness always is. As soon as the thoughts stop, there is no mind. Consciousness always is. And I "think" you know this by now, more than me and the "tele-tubbies" put together. Don't worry, I can always beat "La-La" at a game of chess! Who can ignore that in Christianity there was also the heart language of poetry being of more significance than all rationalism, as in that of the Christian poet/mystic St, John of the Cross. This having a Pascalian beauty in the numinous, in the consciousness of Being, more than all the fundamentalist pretzel twisting certainty, rubbish, found in loaded Christian logic. And some awesome French thought . . . Dennis Diderot "I tell you that there is no God; that Creation is a fiction; that the eternity of the universe is no more of a difficulty than the eternity of spirit; that because I do not see how motion could have caused this universe (though it keeps it going), it is ridiculous to solve the difficulty by supposing the existence of a being of whom I can have no real conception; that if the wonders of the physical universe show some intelligence, the confusions in the moral order are the negations of Providence. I tell you if everything is the work of God, everything should be the best possible: for if everything is not the best possible, it is impotence to malevolence on the part of God. Therefore it is fortunate that I am not better informed as to his existence. If it were proved satisfactorily (and it is by no means proved) that all evil is the source of good, that it was for the best that Britannicus, the best of princes, perished, and that Nero, the worst of men, should reign, how is it possible to prove that it was impossible to attain the same ends without using such means? To allow vice in order to throw virtue into relief is a poor advantage in comparison with its real disadvantage. That, says the atheist, is my case: what have you to say to it? 'That I am a miserable wretch, and that if I had nothing to fear from God, I should not be disputing his existence.' Let us leave such an answer to orators; it may be untrue; politeness forbids it and it has no savour of charity about it. Because a man is mistaken in his denial of God, should we insult him? People only take refuge in invective when they run short of proofs. Of two engage to argument, it is a hundred to one that the man in the wrong will become angry. 'You thunder instead of answering,' says Menippus to Jupiter; 'are you then in the wrong?'" Dennis Diderot, 1746